Baby Blues???

I was going crazy last week coz I really have no idea how am I gonna handle this situation that I'm in...
I sent a "super extra sad" text message to Jovee coz I know his quick replying power! Thanks, Jovee! btw. Anyways, he did respond back with a very encouraging words that helped me lift my spirit.
But the other thing though, I sent a text message to my ex who's in the Philippines and I dunno if that's right. And surprisingly he did respond quickly as a thunder. It's just that I am so not ready to what he told me.
I'm trying to fix my life that has been ruined.. and i'ts hard if that you can't get rid of the person that you're trying to avoid! do you know what I mean????

I sounded so confusing huh?

I just wanted to do something for myself because I've been neglecting what my wants since all the chaos has started. But I just can't coz I feel like this person is so holding me back! and I hate it so much! I feel so paralyzed....I tried talking to him decently so I can do my thing but he won't cooperate and that kills me.

I am inside this shell and I wanted to get out!

Reason

I've been thinking.... a lot
What's the purpose of blogging anymore when all I can post are problems and difficulties in life.

It seems like my life has been so loaded with problems.
My day to day living has been a struggle and I'm having a hard time to see the light anymore!

I just wanted to run away and just go ahead and start from scratch...
Yet no matter I try to avoid it, the more it keeps on piling up.

I tried facing it but I can't stand dealing with it anymore!

I wish I could just say what I wanted to happen and suddenly everything will jsut be in its proper place...

But there's no EASY botton to slam....

I have no idea how to solve this anymore :(

Aaargh!

Aargh!!!

South Beach Diet

I started doing the phase one of the South Beach Diet last Friday and so far so good.
I really have to do this or lose weight coz I'm not getting any younger no more... Yes! still young at heart but I really have to be very careful now.
I wanted to manage and live a healthy lifestyle. My dad suffered form aneurysm... My lola had diabetes... and it's scary when I think that those diseases really runs through the family.

I borrowed some books,too regarding eating and living healthy...

Anyways, Jeremiah is turning 15 months in a couple of days and it's exciting to see how he developed from this really tiny baby to a very young toddler. He's so active now and very talkative... I'm preparing myself to the point when he gets to ask soooooo much questions!... Since it's summer here, he enjoys going to the pool, the beach and running around the park!...I looked at all his activitied as a form of my daily exercise! Running and chasing this kid!

It's tough to be a single mom but everytime my son hugs me and kisses me as soon as I arrived from work, it just melts my heart and burns all the stress I have that day!... He just started screaming "MAMA, MAMA" and it's funny coz you can hear him 10 yards away!!!

His dad still haven't seen him for 3 months now and it's really a day to day argument!...Sometimes, I just want him to be out of my son's life coz my son doesn't even know him at all, he's just a complete stranger.... But I'm still trying to be fair as far as I could coz he's still the dad and he shares 50% of his genes to my son!

I have to get back to work...
Tata!

Planning....

I've been really comtemplating these past few months about what to do with my life. I have a son and every decision I make revolves around him.

I took the apot for the nursing program that will start on August 18 but I am going through financial chaos right now (which in fact is a different story!)....

Moreover, I spoke to an AirForce recruiter but I am kinda hesitant to leave my son. I have a brother who's in the Navy and he leaves his family for months when he gets deployed...

Lastly, I'm thinking of going back to school to get my master's in Social work/Public health. I for sure will be granted financial aid and I can also get a student loan coz I'm a single parent but the thing here though is time...Juggling school, work and single parenthood...I don't want my son to experience whatever is left with mommy, if you know what I mean...

Hmpf!

*buraot* <----- sa work!
Just opened the gate and BAM!!! there you go, *yak* *yak* yak*
Can I just put my purse down, take a deep breath and then you can go ahead and start what I need to do for you???? Gees!

Under construction

whew! I finally was able to sign back in here in blogger... I even forgot what my old blogger account was... Anyways, I will be updating this site more often.. I promise!!!!

Life has been tough I'm telling you and being able to express my thoughts and stuff even through writing helped me alot...so now I'm back!